Model Heroes
by MissHyen
Summary: Tony signs the male Avengers up to do a nude calendar for charity. What could be the harm?


Pepper stormed into the gym waving a piece of paper around while she called for Tony.

"Anthony Edward Stark!"

The room became silent; the sounds of the gym equipment, sparring and conversations going on stopping immediately.

"Uh oh", Tony said from somewhere in the room.

She walked, searching angrily for her partner.

"Where is he? Someone better speak up now!"

Clint and Nat stopped sparring and Clint laughed, pointing to the punching bag. She saw feet behind it, hands holding on and she hurried over.

"Get your butt out from behind there! What the hell is this?" She waved a letter around her angrily as she grabbed for Tony's shirt. He dodged her and ran to the other side of the room.

"Thanks, Barton. Rat." Tony said to Clint with a withering glance as Clint laughed at him.

"When Pepper's angry, I don't mess with her. Sorry, buddy." He went back to sparring with Nat.

"Tony, you better explain this." Pepper said following Tony as he hurried behind Jo. He pulled her away from Steve as they practiced defense moves. Steve stood up straight, looking confused as Jo yelped, trying not to lose her balance.

"Help me, Jojo. You can talk to her."

"What did you do, Tony?" She looked at him, not surprised by his actions. He whispered something in her ear and she gasped, her mouth forming a large O shape and her eyes widened.

"Oh God!" She looked over at Steve and started to laugh hysterically.

"Jo, do not humor him!" Pepper said, pointing her finger at them.

Steve looked from Pepper to Jo and then Tony, frowning.

"What is going on?" He looked at Jo waiting for an answer and she shook her head laughing, her face turning beet red.

"It's a good idea right?" Tony grinned, holding Jo's shoulders.

"No, Tony! What it wrong with you?"

"Would someone just tell us what he did?" Steve said in annoyance.

Pepper stared accusingly at Tony, "Tony decided it would be a good idea to schedule a photo shoot of all of the male avengers for a calendar. NAKED!"

Clint looked up in shock from his concentration and Nat flipped him before she looked over.

"Interesting." She said smirking.

"I think so too." Tony said smiling at Pepper.

"Absolutely not."

"Oh come on, the world deserves to see my perfect ass." He said coming out from behind Jo, shaking his rear for a second, posing.

"No. Do you know what this would look like?"

"Yes, my months would look spectacular." He dodged a smack on the arm from Pepper and laughed.

Steve took the letter from Pepper and read it carefully.

"Are you out of your mind, Stark? We help people, not model for them."

"Well I knew you'd have a problem with it, you're the Earth's Mightiest Prude."

"Oh he's no prude…" Jo said dreamily to herself and Steve looked over at her.

"You're not helping any." He handed Jo he paper and she read it as well.

"This says it's for charity. I mean, if you made it modest and tasteful, it could work."

"Pepper put her hand on her hip and glared at Jo.

"You like this idea?"

"Well, kind of, yeah. I mean maybe not _nude_ nude. Maybe if they did it in swim trunks at the beach or a pool or something. Something fun."

Tony looked over from Jo to Pepper.

"See? Jo gets it, but it would still be nude. I don't mean a playgirl pose, but something to our personalities and my great ass. Come on Cap, women ogle you all the time, you know you love it. This would be for charity, to help those in need."

"Actually I don't like it. And I don't think this is appropriate."

"Ugh! Party pooper. Barton what about you?"

Clint looked over and made a face, "As long as you don't make me pose with a kitten or a puppy or something cutesy, I'm game."

"Yes! Barton, gets it too."

"Oh for God's sake." Pepper said, as she turned to leave the room. Tony followed her giving more random ideas for photos as the door closed.

Jo turned to Steve and smiled innocently. He did a double take at her expression and went over to his bench to grab his water.

"No."

"Aw come on."

"No."

"It's for charity."

"I cannot believe you're into this ridiculous idea."

"I'm not really. I just picture you with the shield in various positions and I'm—"

"Relax, hormones." Nat called over after she threw a punch at Barton and dodged a kick, "It's not going to happen."

"I hope not." Steve said grabbing his towel, turning to Jo again, "Please don't humor Stark with these ideas."

"Oh come on, what if I wanted to do a shoot like that?"

"I would say no."

"Oh really? Not two days ago, what did I walk in on you looking at online?"

He stuck out his chin defensively, "I came across that by accident."

Clint snorted as he and Nat headed over to them, "I'll bet you did."

Steve gave him a dirty look.

"Stark has had crazy ideas, but this is the worst." He muttered as he left the gym.

As much as some of them tried to argue the idea, Tony followed through and had a photo agency send some photographers up to the gym a week later for the shoot.

Pepper sat glaring at Tony as he waited happily for his turn, drumming his hands on his thighs to the tune of some song he was humming. The men were lined up in a row outside the door, some less happy than others. They were wrapped in large robes, their bare feet bouncing nervously on the floor except for Thor who sat on his robe rather than wearing it and leaned back casually, proud of his nudity.

Tony looked down the row and grinned, "You're doing a good thing, guys. The charity thanks you. Smile!"

Pepper leaned against the wall, shaking her head. "How he got you all to agree to this, I'll never know. But I'll say this, I have lost respect for each and every one of you. Steve and Bruce, you two? Did he blackmail you both, I thought I knew you. And Clint, you can stop giving me a cocky smirk. Thor, you need to just put a robe on!"

Thor grinned at her and stood up with his hands on his hips.

"Lady Pepper, I am not ashamed of my nudity. Some warriors go to battle wearing nothing."

Pepper looked anywhere but at Thor, "You're not in battle, you're taking a cheesy photo! Clothes. Now."

"Yes, Lady." He put his robe on with a disappointed frown and sat down again turning to Tony, "Your beloved is quite angry."

"Yeah, this one is gonna take a while for her to get over. Tony said, not looking at Pepper's hard gaze.

Jo and Carla showed up a few minutes later and Carla stopped in her tracks as she saw the lineup.

"Holy cats…" She murmured, raising an eyebrow. Pepper looked over and ran her hand along her face in frustration.

"No. Carla, no. Jo, really?"

"She was coming over anyway." Jo said with a guilty look.

"Oh my God, what are people going to say." Pepper whined.

"Hey Car. You just missed Thor naked!" Tony greeted her with a wave and a large grin.

Thor looked up and smiled broadly, perfect white teeth gleaming and his blue eyes sparkling, "Indeed you did. It was glorious."

A photographer peeked out of the gym, "Okay, guys, who's up."

Tony hopped up and trotted into the room, "Make sure my ass looks fantastic. No wait, we already know it does, just make sure you show that off."

Jo sat next to Steve and patted his leg. He looked over at her, looking nervous.

"You owe me." He whispered. She kissed his cheek and smiled.

"I'm already on it. Can I borrow your shield for my idea?"

"Why not, I'm already about to sully it." He said flatly to her. She shook her head and giggled.

A couple days later the photo samples came back and Steve stood looking at the envelope. Jo came over and peeked around him as he tried to block her from them.

"Ooh, they're here, let me see!" She danced around Steve eager to look at his photos.

"I'd rather you didn't." He said holding the samples up high so she couldn't reach.

"Let me look. Please?"

He huffed and handed her the samples. For the most part they were tasteful. Steve with his shield in various poses. One photo caused her to let out a laugh and she bit it back and snorted.

"You look like a tortoise with your shield like that!"

Steve immediately grabbed the photos and started to walk away.

"No way, I'm sorry. Let me finish looking."

He sighed and handed them over again and she looked at the rest.

One photo had him standing up straight, his posture perfect, his shoulders and arms showed every muscle. His legs were slightly apart and his shield was in front of his lower abs and groin as he looked straight at the camera. The look he had showed boredom and defiance. Jo looked at the photo and her mouth opened slightly.

"Sweetie, wow..." Jo murmured.

"That one is the worst." Steve shrugged.

"No, that one is the best." She said appreciatively. "Can I keep it?"

"Are you serious."

"Damn straight I am."

Tony came up behind them and tried to peek, but Steve snatched them away.

"Did Cap tell you that he chickened and kept his undies on?"

"Grow up, Stark."

Tony walked away grinning, "I can't wait for these to come out! Think of the money we're gonna raise." He whistled cheerfully as he walked away.

"Gentlemen, and ladies they have arrived!" Tony hurried into the room a few evenings later and held a large flat package.

He opened it up and began to hand out calendars to everyone.

"Oh dear." Jo looked at hers as she opened it.

"Nice ass right?" Tony beamed proudly.

"More than I want to see of you, honestly."

She flipped the page and saw Thor. Steve snatched it away and closed it immediately.

"Hey!" She laughed and leaned her head on Steve's shoulder as he looked over at Thor.

"Captain, they said I could use my hammer as a prop."

"There's no hammer there."

"I was not referring to Mjolnir." He winked at Jo, and she covered her mouth and failed to hide her belly laugh.

"Okay, we're done. There's no way this will sell, Tony. This is indecent." Pepper said.

"Well look at the Charity label on the back." He said smiling.

Pepper flipped it over and looked closely at the label. Her expression fell and she looked up at Tony in shock.

"Are you KIDDING me!"

The rest turned their calendars and looked.

 _Calendar is supporting the T. S. Fund.  
Tony Stark: playing suckers for years and loving it._

Collective groans rose up in the room and Thor let out a booming laugh.

"Now that is a jest, Stark. Well met!"

Pepper started to speak and Tony stopped her, "I thought for sure you'd catch on sooner than this."

Steve glowered, "Are you serious? What is wrong with you."

Bruce sighed deep and shook his head, "I should have known."

Barton laughed until he saw another photo of him with a photoshopped kitten in his lap, "Hey, I said no kittens!"

They got up to leave the room and Stark stood with his hands out, laughing, "You people are so easy. You'd think I'd really have us pose for a calendar?"

"Well I know the pages I like." Jo said reaching for a calendar again before Steve stole it away.

"You can say it was the Captain's, but I know you really meant me." He said teasing her.

Steve glanced at Thor and rolled his eyes.

They filed out of the room and Tony stood with a sheepish smile watching them leave.

"I'm sorry, come back!"

"Guys? Pepper?"


End file.
